the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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