..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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