He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
