my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
