Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
