Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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