I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
