real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
