Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
either way he was missing a nipple.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
