yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
