Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
