she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
