no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
