Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
