I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
