Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
