That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
