Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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