Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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