how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
