I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
