I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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