Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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