I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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