I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
