Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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