She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
