ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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