I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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