People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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