Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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