Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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