I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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