i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
