She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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