I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
