dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
