Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
