My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
