I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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