did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
