I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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