There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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