Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
