I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
