look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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