Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
