why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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