what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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