just tell him i said nine months
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
