So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
